To become authentic love, the early stages of romance require a fundamental condition beyond that strong sexual attraction: choice. To transform ‘erotic love’ or lust into a mature, authentic love, we’re required to choose to love from the centre of our being (be it the essence, spiritual self or soul, whatever resonates most with you). We must decide to see, sense, feel and connect with the other person through their own essence in a conscious and mindful movement. In that space, as Eric Fromm explains, we are all the same. And from this principle therefore, it doesn’t matter who we love because love should be a conscious commitment, an honest choice and a mindful action. I’d also add that authentic love begins as a desire and perseveres because of choice.

While the concept of narcissism dates back thousands of years, narcissistic personality disorder only became recognised as a mental illness within the last 2 decades. But how did narcissism come to be?

I’ve worked with several clients on confidence (or lack thereof). After many years of learning what the real meaning of confidence is, I recognise myself as an expert in this specific aspect.

Confidence is not as simple as it seems. There are many complexities and a spectrum of meanings within the definition of confidence. It involves attitudes, beliefs and behaviours that often aren’t innate gifts and need to be nurtured, practiced and/or acquired.

There was a time when married couples would stay together for life. Despite a lack of happiness in the relationship, often rooted in unhealthy co-dependency between two partners, marriage wasn’t easily dissolved. People would choose to stay ‘glued’ together in the name of a commitment they made many years before. Often because it was financially more comfortable. Other times because they lacked the courage to take a leap of faith and enter the unknown. And more times than not, because they were used to conforming to the expectations of a hypocritical society.

In this particular article, as I talk about mother-daughter relationships, I write addressing the group of women whose painful childhood relationships and experiences with their mothers have gone on to warp their adulthood in ways they may not recognise.

The importance of a father’s role in our lives is not as widely discussed and invites a lot of different conversations, so I’m going to continue unpacking it bit by bit, starting by focusing on the relationship between Fathers & Daughters.

Does a right man/woman exist?Is there a right or wrong friend/colleague/partner?Is there a right or wrong love?When do I know it’s the right time to take the risk of loving?Will this love make me happy again?

Types of unavailable fathers and how the father figure impacts who we become and the choices we make.

Through my own studies and life experience over the years, I came to realise that we can be compulsive and addicted to any kind of relationship, even one with a friend or colleague. The most detrimental reality is that often we don’t or can’t recognise it and can live a life going through toxic relationship cycles until we die.

Narcissism is rife in the media today and is being Googled more often than ever. People are waking up to various narcissistic characters in their lives and I’m hearing more conversations about “how to remove toxic people from your life”, perhaps because of the rise in self-development and self-care.

This blog aims to shed a light on the fact that it’s not age that decides when we are adults. It’s not financial independence or not needing to ask for any help. What decides when we’re adults, and my mum has said this countless times in her writing, is when we begin taking responsibility for our choices and start standing in ourselves.

What happens when we move passed the ‘honeymoon phase’ of a relationship, often during the first year of living together. 

Parents will often come and tell me that they feel as though they’d raised their second child the same as the first, but then ask, “so why are they so different from one another?”.

Who are successful children and how do we raise them to be so?

To become parents, or ‘different’ parents, we don’t actually need to do much, but we are required to be. When the focus shifts to being rather than doing, you automatically become a more authentic role model for your own children.

Nowadays, we use words such as wholeness and holistic very often. You hear about holistic coaching, holistic counselling, holistic medicine… but what does holistic actually mean? And what does it mean to become whole? 

Happiness is being aware of our own gifts. To do so requires us to build awareness around our strengths and flaws, our light and our shadow. And once we've developed that kind of awareness, happiness is about making use of and sharing what we have discovered and built for ourselves with others so that they may learn and build happiness for themselves.

In our lives we come across and engage in various types of relationships: romantic, professional, familial, casual and many more. Relationships can be many things... but always fall under the categories of healthy or toxic.